Armrest skirmishes, whether to recline or not, and disembarkation and demarcation can make plane travel a moral maze. Here, we untangle the rules of engagement.
The Battle of The Armrest Etiquette
A recent Expedia survey revealed that nearly 65% of passengers believed that middle seaters are not entitled to both armrests in three-seat rows.
Fair enough, until you do the maths. Another study of flight attendants showed that the majority believed the middle passenger should have access to both middle armrests. An American Airlines captain agreed. Last year, he told all middle-seat passengers in a pre-flight address that “You own both armrests; that is my gift to you.”
But it’s both controversial and unenforceable. What tends to happen is passengers fighting over the disputed territory in an endless, high-altitude battle of the wills and elbows. Like on a war front, ground is taken, then ceded, in the survival of the fittest. And like the squaring of the circle and the 36 officers problem, there is no solution.
Deep-Seated Anxiety
Are you a frequent luggage messerarounder or need multiple toilet stops per flight?
Please book an aisle seat. If you like to lock in with headphones and a blindfold and hate to be disturbed, make sure you nail that window seat. And if you prefer the middle seat? Well, you need psychiatric help.
The Art Of The Disembark
As the women and children rule on a sinking ship, the rules of disembarkation are clear on a plane.
It proceeds row by row from front to back, with aisle seats first, then middle seats, and finally window seats. You wait for the row in front to vacate before you exit. Well, in theory, anyway. We all know the “bolters”; those who reach for the hand luggage just a few seconds after the tires have hit the tarmac. They will stand, grab their overhead luggage, and try to steal a few precious feet of ground towards the cockpit. Alternatively, we’ve all waited for able-bodied passengers seated in front who take an eternity to get their luggage and belongings together, thus holding up the entire process. In the middle is the sweet spot: passengers who are organized and patient. Be that passenger.
Full Tilt
In life, there are recliners and non-recliners. The non-recliners believe seats on a plane are designed to stay in an upright position.
It’s a courtesy to those behind, and they keep the angle close to 90 degrees at all times. The recliners (collective noun a Jason) believe that in a cramped and tight environment, that little button that tips your chair back is a small taste of freedom. The thing about freedom, however, is that it often comes at someone else’s expense. The person behind, happy to be upright, doesn’t always enjoy their latest Spider-Man movie being played A Clockwork Orange-style five inches in front of their eyeballs.
While economy airlines are increasingly removing the button and taking the decision away, on long-haul flights, it remains, if you pardon the pun, a pressing issue. However, compromises can be made. You should never recline at meal times unless you are a psychopath. Common courtesy also dictates that you alert the passenger behind you before going full tilt. The power rests with the passenger with that little button. Use it wisely.
Clapping on landing
In an online poll of 39,954 USA and Canadian passengers conducted by BuzzFeed, only 13 percent of participants admitted to cabin clapping.
In Europe, especially France and Spain, you’d expect the ratio to be even higher. We aren’t sure what fraction of the other 87 percent actively dislike the clappers, but it might be high. Whether it’s a harmless and positive tradition or the ultimate traveling “ick” is in the eye of the applauder. However, doing it on your own can make you look pretty silly.
Barefoot and Fancy-Free
Most travelers will accept other passengers taking their shoes off, but rightly draw the line at removing their socks.
United Airlines codifies that stance and reserves the right to remove passengers “who are barefoot” or have a “malodorous condition.” Now, just what a malodorous condition might be is open for debate. If you do remove your shoes, clean socks should be a common courtesy. If you remove your socks and start clipping your toenails, you should be immediately ejected from the plane. At altitude. With no parachute.
